


I can hear the bells

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Dori and Balin are not amused, Fluff, Humour, M/M, Ori and Dwalin are idiots, Romance, meddlesome brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dori and Balin are in love<br/>Ori can't let that happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I can hear the bells

**Author's Note:**

> my gift for guardtristan from tumblr, for the hobbit holiday exchange  
> the request was something smutty or comedy, with either Dori/Balin, Dori/Dwalin, or Dwalin/Thorin, and with anything involving Ori an appreciated bonus
> 
> I have a terrible sense of humour
> 
> and I am so sorry

"What's this about, then?" Dwalin asked, a little roughly maybe, but it was early morning and Ori had caught him right as he was slipping out of Thorin's room, so he felt he had a right to be grumpy.

"I need to talk to you," the boy answered, pulling on his sleeve to drag him further away. "It is a matter of capital importance. Lives might depend on it! We must... ah! This should do nicely."

This, as it turned out, was an abandoned storage room in which the young scribe pushed his friend before carefully closing the door behind them. He looked around suspiciously like a conspirator… or more exactly, he acted like what someone who had never seen a conspirator supposed they did things.

"What's it this time then?" Dwalin inquired.

He was used to being half kidnapped by Ori to discuss subjects of various importance. It could go from helping the princes and him escape punishment for a prank, to preventing an assassination against Thorin.

"We are in great trouble!" Ori exclaimed. "The _world_ is in great trouble! It's terrible and we have to do something!"

"Sounds serious."

"Serious? Serious doesn't even begin to cover it! Dwalin, our brothers are in love!"

"What, Nori and Balin?"

Ori glared at him. "Don't you dare to joke in such a moment! The situation is _critical_! Dori and Balin are in love! It's the worst calamity of our time! We have to prevent this from happening!"

Dwalin shrugged. He didn't really see how that was a problem. If anything, he was rather happy for his brother. Dori was a handsome, clever dwarf with good manners and a pleasant smile. Balin could have done a lot worse, and...

"Yes, yes, it's all very cute," Ori grunted with a wave of his hands. "And they've been sweet on each other since before the quest. But Dwalin, if this works out for them, they are going to get married!"

"Should hope so. Balin is an honest dwarf and..."

"It means there's going to be a wedding," Ori cut him. "And who is in charge of organising weddings?"

"Brothers. Me and Nori, then. Or you and me if Nori's not around."

"He _won't_ be. Because who is the most tediously proper dwarf of all Erebor? Who notices every single detail ever and will have a fit because he didn't order that exact shade of silk and this tea doesn't taste the same it did last time he bought some and someone is going to pay for that, but not him because he’s not paying for something that isn’t what he wanted?"

Dwalin couldn't help a smirk. "You're not kind to Dori."

"I have no reason to be. And who knows every single rule of ceremony that was ever invented, down to the most minute details, and wants them all to be respected at all times? Who..."

"I get the picture," Dwalin grunted, and he shuddered. He got the picture a little too well. Organising a wedding was never an easy task, he remembered helping Thorin for Dis’s... but for these two.... going to Mordor on foot and back again might be easier. "We can't let them get married," he decided.  "I'm sorry for them, but we just can't let it happen."

Ori nodded fervently, clearly relieved to have his friend on his side. They would be in this together.

"I've got a plan, of course."

"Did the princes participate in _any way_ to the conception of that plan?" Dwalin inquired.

The boy was silent for a few seconds, as if he were trying to find an answer that wouldn't be a lie.

"It's irrelevant," he eventually claimed with a wave of his hand. "Beside, this time, our plan will work."

Dwalin groaned. He had a bad feeling.

 

Dori was carefully cleaning the tables when the door of his tea house opened, in spite of the little sign indicating that he had closed for the day. He didn’t worry though, recognizing Balin’s footsteps even without seen him. He looked up from the stubborn stain he was fighting with, and smiled at Balin, who smiled back.

"I hope I am not interrupting anything," Balin said, as charmingly polite as ever.

"Nothing of importance," Dori assured him, quickly raising a hand to make sure his braids were in place. "But you are a little early, I haven't had time to get changed, and my hair is a bird's nest."

"Absolutely not, you look delightful... though I know you are perfectly capable of being even more impossibly handsome when it suits you, of course. Sadly, that is not a sight I will have the luck to admire tonight. I am afraid I have come to cancel our plans once again."

Dori frowned. They had decided to have dinner at one of the best restaurants in the mountain, and then to see a charming human play about murder, plots and treasons. He had looked forward to that for a few days already. It would have been a perfect evening, and Mahal knew they hadn’t had one of these in a while.

"Your brother again?"

"Yours this time," Balin sighed. "Along with the princes, I'm afraid. I do not even want to know how the little fools were convinced to join that ridiculous plot of theirs."

"Ori makes some very tolerable apricot pies," Dori suggested.

Balin chuckled lightly, trying to frown but failing.

"Now, my dear, that is not very kind to the princes."

"Why be kind when I can tell the truth?" Dori retorted with a theatrical sigh. "Beside, I would like to know why these little idiots have suddenly decided that they had to intervene in our courtship."

These little idiots included Dwalin, of course. He might have been almost twice Dori's size and barely twenty years younger than him, he was still a little idiot when he hanged out with the children, which he did often enough. Dori would have loved to say that the warrior was a terrible influence on the kids, but he suspected it rather worked the other way.

"Ah, about that," Balin said with a smile that wasn't quite as kind as it could have been. "I believe I have figured it out. It is even more ridiculous than we could ever have imagined."

"That's saying a lot considering how ridiculous I already found it."

Balin nodded. The whole thing had been rather annoying, truth be told. This wasn't the first of their date that they had to cancel. Once, Ori had forced his brother to stay home, crying about the unbearable pain in his right wrist (and Dori really had worried, because such things had already happened to the boy in the past). Another time, Dwalin's newest piercing had looked infected (or so he had said. Balin had disagreed, but stayed anyway to care for his brother). There had been disappearing boots and mysteriously reappearing urgent paperwork.

It _could_ have all been a coincidence of course.

Dori and Balin had never believed for one second that it was.

"My dear," Balin said, "the truth is that our brothers want to separate us because they do not want to have to organise our wedding. The princes, I think, are helping them out of fear that our marriage might give ideas to their uncle, though I do not think Dwalin knows _that_."

Balin remained still for a moment, processing the information... and then he burst out laughing.

"You must be joking!"

"Not at all, dear."

Dori tried to calm down a little, because it just wasn't proper to be laughing so loud, but then his eyes met Balin's. They both smiled, then chuckled, and in an instant they were laughing together,  so hard that they could barely breathe.

"I can't believe it," Dori exclaimed. "As if... as if we would ever leave something as important as _our wedding_ in their big clumsy paws!"

"Can't you just imagine it though?" Balin asked with a naughty grin. "Dwalin deciding where the guests will sit, without a care for rank or family quarrels... he would put lord Tanirn next to lady Threin, and not see anything wrong with that."

"And Ori would manage to invent an entire feast without a single vegetable!"

"Now, dear, you are unfair. I'm sure there would be a few vegetables... fried ones, with sauce and cream."

That had them laughing again, and Dori slapped playfully his lover's shoulder, because he had just managed to calm down. But really, the idea was just too funny. Dwalin and Ori in charge of their wedding! As if they could ever let such a thing happen! As if everything wasn't planned already, and just waiting for the Ris' mother to arrive in Erebor to make the engagement official...

"Let's go see that play," Dori suggested, wiping tears at the corner of his eyes. "I think we deserve it. Just Let me dress up, and we'll go."

"But the princes..."

"Whatever their problem is, they got tangled into it by their own fault. You might pity them, but I don't. Beside, it will be good for them to deal with it alone. Character growth, that sort of things."

Balin smirked, a little unkindly. "You are quite right, my dear."

"Of course I am. Now, wait a second, I won't be long."

Balin nodded, and went to sit comfortably. He knew better than to believe in "I won't be long" coming from a perfectionist like Dori. But of course he was just as bad himself, and Dori wouldn't have been the dwarf he adored if he had been any different.

 

A couple days later, Dori and Balin had mercy of their brothers. They publicly announced their intention to get married, as well as their decision to organise everything themselves.

Ori and Dwalin were both terribly offended that they had just _never_ been an option.


End file.
